I had this very interesting conversation with a person close to the family that sparked a special revelation in me that had me pondering...I've often spoke about how apathy is a killer of the soul and it has definitely changed from a temporary way to disconnect in our society to a permanent way to keep our emotional selves sheltered and unharmed. When it comes to our tempers and how to control them, we have to understand one thing in particular...we're human, and while we're going to slip from time to time, we have to really realize what that slip may cost you in the future.
One thing is very true when it comes to grief of a loved one, or a situation, or of a relationship: we may jump to use it as a justification to hurl terrible things towards people...but I want to hone in on some of the reasons we may say really hurtful things when upset, and while this may not make it much better it may help you understand a little better
People say hurtful shit sometimes to relieve their own pain.
Sometimes they say hurtful shit for no real motive at all other than they are completely overwhelmed. While sometimes it had genuinely hurt me when someone tried to poke at an insecurity I had when we were in the midst of an argument or disagreement, now I've learned to do a few things when I'm faced with a person who is trying their best to hurt me:
Don't feed into the negativity:
This is really fucking hard. I'm not going to lie. It really sucks sometimes, and the level of suckage you might feel will be entirely dependent on how well the person knows you, it's never a nice feeling to have someone hurl insults towards you no matter the excuse...but the best way to curve the sweet release that tickles our tongues when we want to say some hurtful shit back would be to simply walk away. Don't play the game. Feeding the negativity they are throwing your way will only give them cause to their imaginary vindication and reasoning to attack you more. Not allowing it to consume you and drag you towards a level that they are feeling will feel a lot better long term. At the end of the day, if someone is hurting on the inside, everything is going to feel like a valid reason to talk to someone really horribly.
This screenshot was particularly shocking, but seeing as that I have been on the internet for a while, I have had terrible things to me for all sorts of reasons, and I've found that the best way to navigate this behavior is to simply back away and let them know you're no longer going to respond. Childish behavior can't be corrected with more childish behavior.
I share personal experiences like this when I feel touched by a situation where I could've acted more venomous, and sickening in response to make sure I threw everything short of the kitchen sink at a person...but chose humor, or a lighthearted "I don't care" response.
I can say truly, as of current: I don't care about anything in my life that is petty, cruel or unusually extra. If someone is coming into my environment with those things, I always think the best policy to to advise them of one very prominent rule about my environment...